Blonde haired, blue eyed girl falls in love with tall dark & handsome boy. 19 years of marriage. Lots of remodeling. Too many hobbies. These are the tales of Chris & Jessie...
July 28, 2004 - July 26, 2018: You almost made it to 14 years little buddy. So many memories and so much love!
Two weeks ago we said our final goodbyes to our border collie who was truly a one of a kind, amazing dog. It's hard to believe he's not here with us anymore and we are missing him dearly but we are thankful for the time we had with him and that Ella got to meet him! Just before Christmas, when I was 30 weeks pregnant, Pyro experienced some sort of a seizure/stroke that really played a toll on him. The vet suggested we look at putting him on a low dose of meds to hopefully avoid any possible future seizures. Thankfully he didn't experience any more of those episodes but he definitely wasn't the same Pyro after that. He seemed happy so we carried on continuing to enjoy him for the time we had with him in hopes that he'd be able to meet baby Coblentz! He hung in there like a trooper but started having trouble being as physically active as he used to be. In June, Pyro started to lose the ability to use his back legs well and would fall on a regular basis. Some days were worse than others and he didn't seem to show much pain or discomfort but as time past we started to realize it was probably going to be time to let go. Most definitely one of the hardest decisions Chris and I have ever had to make. As I held back tears and made the appointment call to the vet, I felt like the worst dog Mom ever. It was a dreaded week, waiting for Thursday to come. As I knelt down beside Pyro for the last time, I had Ella strapped to me in a carrier and as soon as she was level with Pyro she laughed the most precious laugh. She isn't to the point of laughing on a regular basis just yet so for us to be able to hear that in her reaction to seeing him up close and personal was priceless.
There will never be another Pyro or a dog that could possibly even come close to being as cool as he was. He was born the summer of the year Chris and I got married and was owned by the lady I worked for at the time. She traveled a good bit so we would often take care of Pyro various times she was away. When I quit working for her in 2008, we still kept in touch and continued to dogsit for her some. In the summer of 2011, I was having a conversation with her and she briefly mentioned she was possibly looking to rehome Pyro. I talked to Chris and on July 15, 2011 Pyro came for a trial run and never left! Pyro was a well trained and very intelligent dog who spent his early years doing agility and traveled around quite a bit taking part in many competitions. He loved to play and hated bath time. He would chase his frisbee just as many times as we would throw it for him. He could do the following on command without skipping a beat: sit, lie down, stand, back up with "beep beep", give five, and spin in circles with the motion of your hand to cue him to do so. He would inhale rawhides that were meant to take most dogs a few days of chewing to finish and he was a great comfort and source of joy to us in the years that we waited to have human children. There will never be another Pyro and we are so thankful for the time we had enjoying him to the fullest! It's not the same without him in our home but we look forward to sharing pictures and telling stories of him to Ella someday.
You were loved to the fullest, Pyro. You took a piece of our hearts with you to the grave and we will never forget you! Run free, little buddy, run free.
The last nine and a half weeks of having Ella physically here with us has been nothing short of amazing. Words can't even describe how it feels to have her finally join our family after waiting so long and yet it feels like she's just always been with us. We can't imagine our lives without her! Our hearts burst quite possibly every single time we look at her precious face.
As referenced in my last post, I spent last Mother's Day planting a tree in honor of our precious baby in heaven. My body had healed from the miscarriage and we were gearing up for another round of treatment at Shady Grove Fertility. The meds had started for our FET (frozen embryo transfer) and we were anxiously awaiting for my body to be fully prepped so we could go get our baby! When you go through IVF and know that you have precious miracle babies just WAITING for you, it is an indescribable feeling. As I was processing all of the many emotions and feelings surrounding our loss and our anticipation for the future, these are the words that flowed from my heart...
Mother's Day Prayer May 14, 2017:
"My first Mother's Day. Jesus, thank you for life and breath to see this day through. Although this is not how I had hoped to spend this holiday, God has so much bigger ahead. Mighty blessings ARE coming. Through the grief and pain, He is so much greater. Today I am thankful for this crazy journey because of the person it has shaped me into. I never knew God could stretch me this far. I know the pain and lessons learned will be used to bless and HELP others someday. May Jesus be glorified through these ashes. To my dear sweet baby Ira Jude - I miss you and long to hold you someday. I know that Jesus is holding you so close and that makes me smile through the pain and tears. Today I lay down all the hurt resting on my shoulders from expectations and harmful words anyone has ever said regarding our infertility. Babies will run free in this home and Jesus will get all the glory and honor. Laughter will fill each and every room. Worship will flow abundantly and these walls will be a haven for weary souls of all kinds. Thankful, so thankful for what is to come. Amen."
Ella isn't running yet but her laughter bounces off the walls of our home and worship music is her happy place that has calmed her since we brought her home from the hospital. Having her here with me to celebrate Mother's Day this year brings so many joyful tears that I feel like they may never end! As I hold her in my arms each day and tell her just how very much we love her and how special and amazing she is, I am continually overwhelmed by God's goodness to us. Going through all the phases of fertility treatment (which eventually led to IVF, something I never ever thought I could do - physically and emotionally), having 6 unsuccessful cycles, a failed embryo transfer & surgery due to fluid complications, and then the miscarriage....it wasn't what we wanted for our journey to have children but it's the story God is writing through us and without Him, Ella wouldn't be here today! Many women struggle to face Mother's Day with joy because of infertility and other reasons. For those that are missing little ones that should be here with you to celebrate and those longing to become a Mother, my heart and many prayers go out to you. This journey has brought people into my life that I otherwise wouldn't have met or had the opportunity to get to know in a deeper way. The days/months are long but the rewards of seeing pregnancies come out of fervent prayers for others who are walking a similar road is so special!
Warning: This is a very raw, graphic and candid entry straight from my heart.
It's a very bittersweet day in the Coblentz household. We are celebrating the beginning of my 18th week of our second pregnancy but mourning the loss of baby Ira Jude who was due to come into our lives today. I am so very thankful for the new life that is growing inside of me and for the hope that we have after the gut wrenching pain of loss. The months between our miscarriage and our next embryo transfer were filled with so many different emotions that I could never really express accurately. I had to give my body time to heal physically but emotionally we had a lot to process as well. Going through loss is not something you ever get over or fully heal from but choosing to cling to God and each other was the best option we could have chosen as we processed. We did things to bring comfort and closure to the memory of Ira. While each of those steps were the hardest things I've ever had to do and I dreaded and procrastinated them, I knew ultimately it would help to bring the healing we so desperately needed.
At our ultrasound appointment on Monday, February 6th, when I was told that I was having a miscarriage, I desperately hoped and prayed that I could pass this precious life in the comforts of my own home. The possibility of a D&C was suggested but after so many medical procedures already, I was just so done with even the thought of having to do that in such a horrific time. God so graciously heard my plea and after the unknown of waiting, a week later I knew it was time. Monday, February 13th, my body did what it was supposed to do and all the miscarriage stories I had read about, suddenly became a reality for me. Relief -- God heard my prayer. Numb -- Our first precious baby whom we have longed for so long is truly leaving us for Heaven. Chris was my knight and shining armor of a nurse that day. God bless him. So many questions -- Why us? Did I pass everything? Will I still need to have a D&C anyways? Two days later, I firmly believe God allowed me to pass something very tangible for the closure we needed. Hand in hand we held our precious firstborn for the first and last time.
Two days later, I made another trip to Shady Grove Fertility where they confirmed via ultrasound that I was able to move forward with treatment again after my body had time to heal.
Saturday, February 18th we had unusually warm temperatures for the end of winter and we were able to continue the process with healing as we chose to bury this precious life in our front yard. As I closed the lid on this jar and watched Chris begin to dig the most perfect hole ever, every fiber of my being SOBBED. No one should ever have to watch their husband dig their child's grave.
As we both knelt down on either side of this memorial, we wept and held hands. We prayed that God would heal our hearts and bodies, and that He would bless this journey we found ourselves on. Quite frankly, just two exhausted people still filled with much determination but losing hope that this was ever going to move beyond disappointment and pain.
We knew right away we wanted to plant a Japanese Maple tree in this area as a remembrance to Ira but we waited until the weather got a bit warmer. On April 11th, we ventured to the local nursery to see what we could find. Nothing was quite right and I was getting frustrated because I just wanted to find the perfect tree. We walked to the back of the lot where nothing had been priced yet for the season and behold -- there it was! The perfect tree.
On Mother's Day after I shed many tears, we planted our special tree!
In June, we completed the new addition to our front yard.
And this was taken a few weeks ago after all the annuals I planted got full size. I LOVE looking out my front windows to see this beautiful reminder. I can't wait until the tree gets bigger. :)
God has been SO good to us through the ups and downs of infertility and miscarriage. I wouldn't wish these heartaches on anyone, but I know that we are both stronger people because of this journey we've walked and that our marriage is something I wouldn't trade for anything in this world.
Ira Jude -- Daddy & Mommy miss you so much and can't wait to see you again someday. <3
This is undoubtedly one of the most bittersweet things I’ve ever had to share my heart about. I’ve spent the last few weeks processing just how to go about this, and there just isn’t an easy or perfect way. This is my attempt to share our story of God’s provision for those who have been faithfully carrying us with love and prayer, yet all the while weeping deeply for those I know who are still in the painful waiting season.
I always felt like I have been a pretty patient person growing up but patience takes on an entirely new meaning when your hopes and dreams are put on hold for YEARS at a time. Waiting, hoping, with little to no answers of why you are being called to walk the road of infertility. Something that seemed so easy and normal for everyone else, turned into a very long unknown nightmare of trust like I’ve never known before. In the early years, we endured the “when are you going to have kids” teasing that for awhile seemed like it would never relent. As time continued to pass, people simply stopped asking and while it was a relief, there was no shortage of people in everyday life complaining about how hard their lives were with children. Something we so desperately wanted to experience and most seemed to be taking the blessings for granted.
For years we simply carried on with life, wishing and hoping that it would just finally happen and we could end the nightmare and get back to the life we had planned for ourselves when we said “I do” and walked down the aisle hand in hand to conquer our future together in October of 2004. Little did we know that our future of “for better or worse” would get extremely dark and painful at times when the months would continue to pass with the same news over and over again -- not pregnant. We walked through the birth of 5 nephews and 3 nieces. All precious gifts whom we love dearly, but so painful for us to process through.
In 2009, we had some basic testing done that left us feeling frustrated but not void of all hope. We continued on our own, desperately praying medical intervention wouldn’t be a necessity. Fast forward to the summer of 2012, we walked through the doors of Shady Grove Fertility to get a better idea of what we were looking at if we chose to go down that route. Unfortunately it was a very dark time for me personally and I went away feeling overwhelmed and hopeless. Angry. Bitter. Why me, God? You name it, I felt it. All I ever wanted was to marry my best friend and be a Mom. Why did this have to be such a monumental challenge I was called to overcome? Chris & I discussed our options but ultimately I still just wasn’t ready. I shut down and refused to believe I was strong enough to go through such an ordeal. ANOTHER 3 YEARS LATER. 3 YEARS!!! Summer of 2015, I was finally ready. Or ready as I’d ever feel. We walked back through those doors of Shady Grove Fertility with a new determination but an equal sense of sheer terror that if this was what God had planned for our story, we would make it happen somehow.
We endured more meds, shots, procedures, blood draws, and disappointment than I can even fathom. 9 treatment cycles and 1 miscarriage later, God has blessed us with the most amazing miracle of being pregnant once again. PRAISE THE LORD!! We are literally overwhelmed with joy and still pinch ourselves every day as we process this new reality that it FINALLY is our time! God’s timing is so much better than ours and we still don’t fully understand WHY we had to wait this long for our precious miracle but we do know that our journey, story, and testimony will not go to waste. Every 1 in 8 couples will go through this in some form or another, and I have every intention to walk along anyone I’m able, to hopefully help them navigate through what I thought I would never be strong enough to handle. And Jessie truly wasn’t strong enough, but allowing God to take my hand into the most terrifying season of my life and lead the way was a growing and stretching time that I could never do justice at putting into words. He is SO faithful. So truly amazing. The author of our dreams if we let Him.
To those of you who have taken it upon yourselves to intercede on our behalf for so many years, we humbly thank you and could never express just how precious you are to us. When the days grew long and dark, we were carried by such an amazing support system that we truly could never even begin to repay. Chris and I have shed so many tears for our children, and prayed harder for this miracle than anything we ever have before. We know many of you have done the same right along with us. We have been anointed, prayed for, prayed over and it is now OUR TIME for VICTORY & CELEBRATION that was declared over us years ago. Thank you, Jesus!
Fertility treatment is NO JOKE and it takes you on a roller coaster with more twists and turns than you could even explain to anyone who hasn’t endured it. If you ever encounter someone who is struggling to have children or going through treatment, I beg of you to intercede mercilessly on their behalf. I truly believe that the prayers of many (known & unknown to us) were what got us through each painful day. Sharing the news of our pregnancy in a public way is something that part of me really doesn’t even want to do because I know that it will probably ruin someone’s day (and probably several). When you’re walking the dark road of infertility, every single “my kids are driving me crazy bad day complaint”, pregnancy announcement, baby shower, or birthday party is just another knife to the heart. My sharing intentions are to give God all the glory for this miracle that He has so graciously blessed us with and to let all those hurting know that you’re not alone, and to hang in there.
I literally could write a book, and maybe someday I will do that but I just have one final shout out to send to my very deserving husband. Chris, my rock and my best friend, thank you for carrying thisfamily when I felt like I couldn't even stand on my own two feet. Your quiet, steadfast support was the strength I needed when times were the darkest. You are the most compassionate and self sacrificing man I know who is already the best father our children could ever have. And folks, if you ever need a subcutaneous or intramuscular injection, Chris is a shot expert by now!
10 Years
9 Treatment Cycles
41 Blood Draws
35 Ultrasounds
166 Shots
Our IVF rainbow MIRACLE is due to arrive in February 2018!
To God be all the glory!
Hebrews 10:23 -- Let us hold UNSWERVINGLY to the hope we profess, for He who promised IS faithful.
Jesus, You are SO good. In the midst of crushing heartache, You have mighty and good things to come for this Coblentz home. Thank you for who You are and all that You have blessed us with. What satan means for harm, we are claiming for GOOD.
Monday, February 6th. 3 weeks into receiving the happiest news of our lives... “I’m sorry, the gestational sac is now empty.” Miscarriage. YEARS of waiting for miraculous news never once having EVER received a positive pregnancy result until a few weeks prior, treading softly but expectantly for a total of 7.5 weeks. Three weeks of pure joy like we had never known before, now met with a very abrupt end and crushing blow.
Our infertility journey for many, many years was totally silent. A few years ago, we started to break the silence in small ways that would help us process and heal as we have endured the inevitable monthly rotation of grieving cycles. It has been freeing but also “invited” unwelcomed advice and hurtful comments from those who simply just don’t think before speaking. You name it, we’ve heard it. We have come to realize that’s human nature and part of life but has also made us keenly aware of the power that words have, unknowingly by what seems like a great percentage of the population. Some never seem to get it while others go above and beyond to show us they care in ways that leave us feeling blessed and so undeserving. For those close to us who have helped to carry us in the seasons we felt as though we couldn’t walk on our own, we are forever grateful and will never forget even the smallest acts of kindness and compassion.
If you are blessed with the sheer miracle of children, we beg of you to never take them for granted. Those days of parenting that are annoying and challenging? So many couples like us are PRAYING for days like those to be a reality and desperately wish to experience. Sadly, 1 in every 8 couples will experience infertility in some form or another.
Today, we pick up the pieces of this new experience we are wading through and try to figure out where we go from here. We refuse to believe our story is over, and we will cling to hope that our deepest and purest hearts’ desire to be parents will eventually come to pass even if the journey hasn’t looked anything like either of us had originally planned.
We have chosen to publicly proclaim God’s goodness in this way even through the pain and continual crushing blows, that sometimes feel they will never end for us.
If you’re walking through dark times, hang on. God is FAITHFUL. God is GOOD. God….IS.
Lord willing, tomorrow will come, and the next day…...and the next…….and we will get back up again and fight. Some days we’ll fight better than others, but we will NEVER stop fighting. The devil has no place in our lives and we will not let him win even down to the smallest of details.
The nursery that has already been painted will continue to be filled with hope, dreams, more tears, so much love, Jesus, and eventually LIFE.
We love you Baby Coblentz! We can’t wait to meet you someday. Those on this side of Heaven and those Jesus is holding closely for us.
2 Corinthians 4:8 - We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair.
Romans 8:37 - No, despite all these things, overwhelming VICTORY is ours through Christ, who loved us.
In JESUS name, we claim that VICTORY! CELEBRATION, LIFE, & JOY.
In loving memory... Ira(Watchful, Vigilant, Making Bare, Pouring out) Jude (Praise, Thanks) Coblentz
November 11, 2015 -- My 31st birthday. Where does the time even go? I feel so old some days but I remind myself the best is yet to be! Chris asked me what I wanted for my birthday and I went the non traditional route requesting a hand made spice rack. I love to cook and bake and my spice collection is forever expanding. The chaos of having random containers was driving me crazy. After shopping in several stores and online, I could never find just what I wanted. Being the amazing husband that Chris is, he graciously brainstormed with me and came up with this design.
On my actual birthday, we had a Lowe's date to pick and purchase the wood we would use.
As it seems to go with our lives, we were busy with plenty of other things so Chris didn't actually get to start until several months later.
And then once he completed it, it took me awhile to get it painted. What was I thinking? All those boxes and tiny corners/crevices! Whew.
Over the course of the project build, we slowly worked on the actual spice jar aspect of it. I decided I wanted to use half pint glass canning jars so Chris based the measurements of each hole with that in mind. The actual spice rack was the perfect custom size to fit under my kitchen cabinets in a specific spot on my counter. Here are the labels he designed for me to stick on each jar lid which I am completely in love with!! (All the pictures can be viewed larger and with more detail if you click on them.)
And finally!! After several months of working at this project little by little, our dual efforts successfully completed my long awaited birthday present. :) It makes my heart so happy!!! Every single time I pull a jar out or just look at it, I can't help but smile.
And I even had him make labels for my spices/blends that need refrigeration so they don't get clumpy.
Thank you, Chris, for all the time and love you put into my very special gift! It is even better than I imagined it would be! :)
May 20, 2012 - Pond Bank Community Church hosts the 5th annual Motorcycle Sunday. A morning of motorcycle overload, Jesus, music, fellowship, and good food. A great morning was had by all and after a delicious lunch, the motorcyclists were off on their group ride.
Along the way, a camera was found beside the road by one of the riders. He turned it in to my Dad in case one of the other riders had lost it and inquired about it. No one ever did.
My Dad held onto it for awhile and happened to mention it to Chris and I a few months later. The camera was obviously damaged beyond repair and would never function again but the memory card inside seemed unharmed. We brought the camera home and popped the card into our card reader to see if the picture files were damaged or not. Neither of us were prepared for what we would discover next. A beautiful couple. Obviously married. Airport shots. Traveling to another country. Two adorable children. An adoption!! Our hearts sank as we knew that these were not just random pictures but ones of great significance and sentimental value. How would we ever find the owners of the camera?? A few pictures prior to the adoption trip seemed to be local and we tried to make out a specific location but the words were just not quite clear enough. We did multiple google searches and focused on finding that location some how, some way. Alas, we failed to narrow anything down and gave up. Many times over the last few years I would see the "Lost Camera" folder saved on our computer and look through the pictures again, hoping for some inspiration. A few times I considered sharing one of the photos on Facebook, asking everyone and anyone to "share it" in hopes that it would eventually warrant a successful reunion with these dear people. I never followed through thinking surely it was pointless and there was just no possible way for me to ever find these people.
Fast forward to Wednesday, November 4th, 2015. The pictures were burning in my mind and heart as I thought about how badly I would want those pictures back if I were in their shoes. Pictures are everything to me so once again, I clicked through each one hoping and praying for a new revelation as to how to contact this dear family. AwakenHaiti. The gentleman had a shirt on that said AwakenHaiti. I did a quick google search and realized it was a small organization based in Carlisle that specifically deals with rescuing children. I figured it was a huge shot in the dark but I emailed the picture to the contact email address for this organization. I briefly explained that I was looking for the owners of a lost camera and asked if anyone could recognize the people in the photo to help me identify who it belonged to. I knew it would either get me headed in the right direction or they would think I was crazy and I'd never hear back.
7:41 AM - Sent the email feeling slightly crazy.
6:43 PM - A reply from Awaken Haiti. "Wow, yes I know them. I will forward your email on to them!"
9:19 PM - "Dear Jessie, YOU ARE AN ANGEL and GOD has answered prayer!! My name is Robin and the camera that you found was one that we lost three and half years ago......"
As I read these precious words and the rest of this dear woman's email first thing Thursday morning upon waking up, I was in tears and ecstatic! WOW!! What a crazy God moment this was unraveling. I couldn't believe it and I'm pretty sure she couldn't either! :) One of the best and coolest parts was that same day that I reached out and she got the wonderful news...It was her BIRTHDAY!!!! We exchanged several emails back and forth over the next few days and decided on a meeting time for Sunday, November 8th. My family was together celebrating several birthdays at my parent's house. They were coming from about an hour or so away and what a happy reunion it was when they got there! BEAUTIFUL family. What a relief and joy it was to FINALLY hand over the lost camera to this precious family. I was giddy with excitement! :) We exchanged stories of how and when it was lost and how and when it was found. (Just a few hour time window.) In a fluster of getting the two children into the car to go on a family lake outing, the camera was placed on top of their car. It rode safely up there for quite awhile until it eventually fell off along the road and was found shortly after by the motorcyclists.
While this may just seem like a heart warming coincidence to some, to me it could not have come at a more perfect time. The inspiration to just now google "AwakenHaiti" after looking through those pictures SO many times before was totally God inspired. While I wasn't on the receiving end of the lost pictures, I was blessed greatly by affirmation that God does care about all the little details in all of our lives and while the answers we hope and plead for may not arrive when we think they should, He DOES still care and He is always working.
I am so thankful for this happy ending (even if it did take 3.5 years) and for our new found friends! I hope that reading this story is as much of a blessing and encouragement to others as being part of this reunion was to me!
